Why didn't I choose med school?

Tonight I wish I was a doctor.

I feel extremely useless. I was sitting outside around 6:30pm when all of the sudden some of the doctors and drivers rushed into the small lot and sped out of the gates. I walked down towards the entrance and one of the security guards who speaks English looked and me and shook his head, “There was an accident. Big car crashed, lots of people from Tibouk going to Cap.” It turns out it was a huge truck, I see them pass all the time, often loaded to the brim with goods and then people are sitting on top and hanging out of the back. It had turned over. Motorcycles were being used to wheel people into the hospital. Everyone ran into storage areas to grab mattresses. There are people lying in every crevice of the hospital. I watched and became consumed by an overwhelming feeling of powerlessness. I offered to help drag out more mattresses, but was told it was okay to stand back, there was too much blood. There was, and still is, a lot of blood. And moaning. I'm in shock.

I'm frustrated. The people I've met here have little, but they are some of the most giving and joyful people I've ever met, and the most faithful. And yet their lives are plagued by tragedy. I can't understand all the pain I've seen here.

The energy and commitment I've seen tonight is incredible. Anyone and everyone that works at the hospital is assisting, people that arrive here at least around 6am, and it's not 9pm. One of the doctors is rushing around with his shin guards still on from the soccer match he ran over from. There were about two dozen people injured, a couple hours later the gates were being pounded on to let in another person who had just been in a motorcycle accident.

Something else that struck me during all of this craziness is that people were concerned about how I was feeling! It's like they knew the sheltered blan had definitely never seen anything like this, and instead of being annoyed, they just gave me hugs. Have I mentioned lately how much I love this country?

I'd like to analyze all of this a little more later, after I've had some sleep and the wailing stops. Just prayers, I've never seen any pain like this close up and I'm not sure what to do.